Thursday, November 1, 2012

Love at first sight, 10 years later

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, I played in a rock and roll band. For 14 years, I traveled from state to state, country to country, in planes, buses, but mostly a 15 passenger van packed to the gills with gear and suitcases. It was on one of those trips that I met the love of my life. It was November, 10 years ago this month, and we were driving through England and Northern Europe in a splitter (a Dodge Sprinter with a separated area for seats and cargo). It was cold, and grey. I was married (to my band mate), but on the verge of a divorce as I had confided to my closest girlfriends. I was living with a dictator, and insane narcissist, control freak. All of my friends wondered why I stayed so long. It’s hard to leave someone who has so much control over your life and has stripped you of any confidence that you would be able to take care of yourself and that you’d be okay.

We drove around Britain, playing in London, Newcastle, Manchester, Leeds, and Gloucester as I remember and took the fairy over at Calais to the mainland. From there we went to Belgium, Holland, Germany, and then a fairy from Puttgarten, Germany to Rødbyhavn, Denmark. Scandinavia was dark already in November; the air was thick with fog which gave the old cities like Copenhagen, Lund, and Stockholm an eerie but magical aura. As typical as it may be, the Scandinavian crowds at the shows were fun, enthusiastic, and they were totally into it, which made playing even better if that was possible.  Nearing the end of our tour, we headed into Norway to play two shows. The first in Oslo, November 16th 2002, and the last show would be in Bergen on the 17th. As we were checking in to the Royal Christiania Hotel in Oslo, I saw two guys and a girl walk by. One of the guys caught my attention. I remember thinking to myself; those guys are going to be at our show tonight.

Later that evening, we did our sound check and settled in backstage where they had a spread of amazing Norwegian breads, cheeses, meat, fruit, candy, beer, wine, and bottled water. We hung out and ate, made set lists, etc. We went onstage and played a super raw set with lots of good energy, and hung out with the good people of Oslo in the venue for a while. That is when the two guys and girl that I saw walking by the hotel came up. The guy who had originally caught my attention and I locked eyes and I felt something. I could tell that he did too. We talked and talked and as it turns out, we had very similar taste in music, similar sense of humor and an amazing rapport. We exchanged email addresses and he gave me a CD of his band. We hugged when we said goodbye and my heart ached a little when he left, but I didn’t know why. The next morning we hopped on a plane to Bergen and had an incredibly fun last show in a beautiful city. I couldn’t stop thinking about that guy that I met. I listened to his CD over and over so that I could hear his voice.

We had to drive back to England, and fly back to the states. By this time, my ex and I were pretty much only exchanging barbed words and jabs and I knew that this was definitely the end, but I don’t think that either of us really knew how to end it. It was complicated as we have a child together. I don’t think we even agreed on parenting from day one of his birth!  We started to talk about officially ending it. Once home, I focused on my own songs and started writing a lot and recording. The Norwegian guy and I started exchanging lots of email. Soon we began writing songs through the mail and we began to chat on the phone almost daily. We decided to have our own band and we already had enough songs between us for an album. I booked a flight to Oslo in March and stayed for 10 days. There we recorded an albums worth of material and we also fell madly in love, though, I knew I loved him before I even got there. Before I left to go back to the states, I bought him a ticket for May to come to me. He was finishing up his civil service duty around the first of May.

When I got home, my ex and I finally decided officially that it was over.  This was a huge relief and I felt the weight of a thousand elephants being lifted from me. May rolled around, it seemed like forever, but it did. The love of my life came through customs at the airport and since that day, we have never really been apart. We had to do a lot of back and forth because of the visa waiver program it was not a good idea for either of us to be in each other’s countries for over a 3 month period. So, we stayed 3 months here, went to Norway for a couple of months, came back here for a few months, went back to Norway and got married once the divorce was final, and then moved back to the states.

10 years later, I love him more. I love him more every day it seems. He is my best friend, and hands down, my favorite person to hang out with. He’s an amazing stepfather to my son, and an amazing father to our son. I am so very lucky that I met him. I believe in love at first sight because of him. When I saw him walk by the hotel something drew me to him and made me notice him, and the connection that we made when we met was undeniable. We were meant to meet each other, and absolutely meant to be together. I believe that 100% with all of my heart. 


  1. OMGosh... so romantic.. :-) Congratulations to you both!

  2. Thank you! We are celebrating our 9 year wedding anniversary on February 10th. :-)

  3. :) I love this! Sweet sweet story. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and reminds me of how I met the love of my life too. That instance of special connection.

  4. Thanks, Rita! I feel pretty lucky. How did you meet your husband?